As September nears it’s end, Impact is growing in depth and understanding of who God is.  Please be in prayer for the ministry and myself as Sept 30- Oct 2 we have our annual fall retreat.  It should be a blast!

I’m so excited to see what God has in store for this community!  We have really invested in going deep into scripture and living out the way of Christ. Each week I am encouraged by what Christ is doing in our community.  He is breaking down walls, showing us how to love without condition, leading us back to Him, and encouraging us to persevere. The ladies I am privileged to meet with are incredible women on different parts of their walk with God.

I am daily grateful for the opportunity to do this job.  Thank you for following this journey!

For a more in-depth update, download my first newsletter!

Kristens Fall Newsletter

What you give, you will be given.
Hurt.
Reconciliation.

It’s not even something I am drawn towards when life is simple and carefree.

The truth is that my life is a mess.

I can’t see the forest for the trees.

I know that my God is big- but I can’t seem to find that still small voice.

I’ve been told it’s my fault— and I believe it.

My heart is broken: by friends, family, a lack of faith, and dire circumstances.

I know not what the next day holds, but hold fast to make it to the next day.

It’s moments like this that I am reminded:  I am weak and He is strong.

2Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Show me Your power, o Lord.

Show me the strength that changed Paul.

Show me the the power that created the universe.

Show me Your might, that I would be comforted and carefree.

Or Father-

Let me rest.

“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Let me rest in knowing my weakness.

Let me rest in knowing Your strength.

I am covered by the covenant.

I am covered in Your love.

Let me rest. and boast.

In my weakness

There are a lot of days when I want to walk away from faith… Or people of faith.

It’s hard.

It’s uncomfortable.

I ran across this verse in the blogosphere over at Stuff Christians Like.

It speaks to my heart and I hope it encourages yours!

I realized last week, in community group, something valuable that I want to share with you all.  I realized that I made a mistake.  I asked a lot of you this summer.  I asked you to make it through the entire Bible in 90 days.

If you were to be honest with yourself… and if I were to be honest with myself… I would say that this task is one that most “studied” Christians don’t complete.  We are pretty new to this…

Donald Miller had a blog a few months ago: “How I Learned to Like Exercise, and Like Some Other Things Too.” — Read here : http://donmilleris.com/2010/04/14/how-a-fat-guy-learned-to-like-exercise/

In this, Don talks about a trainer that killed him in his first workout.  You know what he’s talking about-  one day you decide you are going to be the healthiest person on the face of the planet.  You eat half a salad without dressing for lunch and dinner and a piece of toast for breakfast.  Then you workout for 3 hours.  You run through every exercise you have EVER seen.

You go home and have to soak in a bath tub for twenty minutes just to walk around the house… PLUS you are STARVING.  (If you haven’t done this… you’re a better person than I.)

Donald talks about a trainer who changed his view on exercise: If I do twenty minutes of working out-  I’ve done enough.  Sometimes you will want to do more… sometimes you will want to do less, but if you just complete your twenty minutes- you have accomplished your workout for the day.  You can be satisfied.

I think we need to take this attitude.

As a staff, we are reading Eugene Peterson’s Eat This Book. It talks in the first chapter about our posture when we read the Bible.  The Bible isn’t a book to be inhaled as quickly as possible, but to be savored and cherished.  The Bible is “intended to change our lives and not just stuff some information into the cells of our brain.”  The writing in the Bible is meant to invade our souls… when we shove it in, we loose the heart-changing beauty of it.

So-  July- Start small… Obey God by reading His Word.  Let it invade your soul… let it change your mind, life, and purpose.  I believe that your obedience will change into desire.  The Bible will become the food you need and will change you.

We find out later that this law was made complete in Jesus and that our salvation is found in Him and not by our works.

This leads me to two thoughts I have been working through this week:
1.) Everything that I am and want to be is found in Christ Jesus alone. There is no amount of work I can do, but it is Christ in me.

I have been thinking about this mostly in the realm of confidence for support raising. I had a conversation with Justin today about how less than fabulous my support raising is going… all things I am painfully aware of.  He asked if I am feel worthy of support. The truth is that my confidence HAS to be wrapped up in who Jesus is and has created me to be. 

2.) I am not the girliest-of-girls… that’s fairly obvious… but there is one thing in the world that makes me cry even when I have had the BEST day of my life- Love.  To me love is super complex… a beautiful thing that is a commitment to put one another first.  I find that love in two places currently:  Jesus and those around me.  When I know Jesus loves me and is supporting me- I cry.  When I know that someone loves me and supports me and every crazy dream I have and I know that I will support them and their crazy dreams- I cry.  It is the only thing that gets me EVERYTIME.

If at any point in time I have told you I love you-  Know that it is the truth, that I have cried for/about you, and that I have chosen to put you first.

SO-  I won’t you guys to TALK TO ME!!!   Questions:  How’s the read going?  What has stuck out to you?  And un-related to those questions-What makes you cry everytime?

Love you ladies-  seriously!

Grace and Peace-

Have you ever heard that phrase?  What feelings come up inside of you when someone sing-songs those words at you?  If you are anything like me, you want to pop them one right in the face… (too honest?)

Reading through Genesis has continued to teach me God’s view on patience.  I have to admit that patience is something with which I struggle in small ways and affects me in large ways.

Genesis 29- We see Jacob work 7 years to marry Rachel.  7 years… that’s some serious commitment.  Most of us can’t commit to a major for more than 1 year and, if you are anything like me, that diploma  doesn’t quite match your occupation anyway.   Jacob is then deceived… can you say MAD?… and sleeps with Leah- gasp!  He works 14 years to marry Rachel.  14 YEARS… that is almost two-thirds of my LIFE!

Crazy amounts of commitment… and patience.

I think that commitment can also be called patience.  To commit to something or someone is to be there through thick and thin, to bear with one another in love and through inconvenience… to wait for them to come around. (or to wait for maturity in yourself?)  All of this takes patience.

Rachel became impatient with God… haven’t we all?  Genesis 30, Rachel decides she should have children and sends her servant, Bilhah, to sleep with her husband.   

I wonder where this impatience comes from… and why she would send her servant!

Here’s what I think:  Impatience manifests itself in insecurity and our desires to earn everything.

1.)    YOU ARE AMAZING- Christ says so… I say so (not that I am in anyway comparable to Christ).  Insecurity leads to impatience which leads to you sending your servant to sleep with your husband… or something.  Listen- if Rachel realized that Jacob loves her regardless of how many children she births, she would have allowed God to give her blood related children (like Jacob says: Am I God? He is the only one able to give you children. –Gen 30:2)

2.)    Christ gives free gifts… no strings attached.  Until we learn to accept gifts, we will constantly be earning salvation (which is impossible) and we will continue to live in insecurity and instability.

I challenge you- be patient… and pursue Christ

Realize that you are fully loved by God and you didn’t do a thing to deserve it…

Genesis 12: In my bible it is labeled “The Call of Abram” and we can learn sooo much from God’s words and Abram’s reaction.

God asks Abram to leave everything: family, friends, home, and the comforts of his town and go to a land. 

That is all Abram knows… leave here… and go somewhere else.  I will tell you where eventually- but for now go.  That is essentially what God says to Abram.

How would you react?

I freak out. (read this as fast as humanly possible to get the “freak out” effect)  God, you want me to do WHAT?  Are you sure you have the right person… are you sure there isn’t a specific place/plan you have for me?  This is just crazy-  I must be delusional.  God REALLY?!     

 I am pretty sure that classifies as a freak out.

Before I sit down to write, I always hit the bathroom- this may be too much information- and when I go to the bathroom, Gracie (my cat) ALWAYS follows me. Her bowl is in there- she thinks that she is going to be fed.  She goes CRAZY to get food… It’s like she forgets that, every day, when I wake up I feed her.  Today, my response went something like this:

Relax, Gracie.  I am going to give you everything you need… and a little of what you want.

That was an “ah-ha” moment.

When asked to do something a little crazy or a little hard-  change your life goals, change your life’s direction, stop drinking, stop having sex, stop smoking pot… etc. – we tend to freak.  We think that we can’t or if we try we will fail.  We start asking questions and wondering about all the bad that can happen.

I think God simply says- I am going to give you everything you need… and a little of what you want.

God actually tells Abram what  will happen. (Gen 12: 2-3) Then Abram goes.  Abram trusts God with his LIFE.  He has faith… and moves. 

As we continue to read, we will see that Abram (or Abraham- as he will be called) will have a lot of hardship… we already know that Pharaoh sleeps with his wife… and I am sure that Abraham questions the why and the how. He will even take matters into his own hands instead of letting God work.  We all fail- but 

God always gives us what we need and makes good on his promises.

SO- What has God been calling you to do differently?  How have you reacted?  Will you change your reaction and step out in faith?  I hope that Abraham can be an inspiration- and that God will be your strength.

God has really been preparing my heart the past few days. If I hadn’t sat down to write this, I would never have thought to say it.

I pray that God has prepared everyone’s hearts.

It’s going to be a great few months.
Let’s learn, see, hear, and talk about how God reacts and interacts with His people.

What I said last week to my community group is “I failed.  I started late, ended early, and didn’t  finishing the task.”  It’s humbling to admit that I failed– especially to a group of people that I “lead.”  It’s inspiring that God still gives me the desire to know Him after so many failures.

School is quickly coming to an end.  My work is just beginning. 

This summer, a large group of people I know and love are going to pursue Jesus together.  The way we are doing this is by reading the Bible- all the way through- together- in 90 days. 

We start May 16th.

The Impact community has been talking a lot lately about the importance of pursuing God in community.  I think this is a perfect example.  We will only finish if we are all leaning on one another- pushing each other to get through the book- to move through geneology after geneology.  We will be able to start conversations about why God does, says, or moves like that.  We will live and breathe the Word of God and become intimate followers of the Savior that died for us.

I’m excited.  I’m anxious. I’m proud. 

These people love Jesus- want to pursue Him- Read His word.  I get to watch, talk, and write about it.

I promised my community that I would be writing at least every other day, if not every day, about what God is saying/doing/moving in my life through the Word.  I want others to speak to what they see through Holy Scripture. 

We are a messy community- crawling after God.  We get dirty, we fail.  Most importantly- we keep following.

I love this community and I want us to love God more intimately.